Tuesday, May 22, 2012

School Administrative Office Fill-In Game


Instructions: There's a problem at the school, and the office assistant needs some help! Fill in the blanks in the sentences below using one of the choices under (A), (B), (C), or (D):

Office Assistant: Is it OK to (A) ____________________?
Principal: (B) ______, because if (C) __________, then (D) __________.
Office Assistant: I see.

(A)
...sign this welcome letter?
...let this kid with a broken leg use the elevator by himself?
...remove this tick from a junior high girl’s scalp?
...ask a fifth grader to help me move this very large and heavy fish tank?
...give Tylenol to this girl who’s having menstrual cramps but doesn’t want to tell me?
...post pictures from the science fair on the school website?
...let this kid go home with his grandmother without a note, even though I talked to the mother about it earlier today?

(B)
No...
I wouldn’t if I were you...
Uh-uh...
You’d better not...
Technically, we're not supposed to...

(C)
...anything in that letter was inaccurate or could be claimed as false advertising…
...the cable suddenly snapped and the elevator hurtled downward into the basement...
...the tick burst, spewing lyme disease-filled puss everywhere...
...that fish tank fell on his foot...
...you gave the wrong dosage and she had to have her stomach pumped...
...any of those parents didn’t want their children to be photographed...
...there were to be a car accident, kidnapping, fire, molestation, abusive situation, air raid, or if the kid got sick or had an allergic reaction to something in the car or tripped and fell on the front stairs or bit down on his popsicle too hard and cut his tongue or got really upset and cried a lot on the ride home...

(D)
...the parents would sue the school, they’d sue me, and then they’d sue you
...you’d be legally responsible
...you’d be held liable for that
...it’d be a legal nightmare, and you’d be dead in the center of it
...there’d be grounds for a lawsuit, and you wouldn’t like that very much, now would you?

3 comments:

Danicus said...

To be safe, let's also not teach the children anything. The parents might sue if their child learns who Oppenheimer was without their consent. Or what happens when you add two numbers together.

Ian said...

Not to put a dapper on your joke, but from what I've learned so far, objections to educational curricula might be the one aspect of the system that isn't grounds for a lawsuit.

Danicus said...

Tell that to science classes who attempt to teach science without also adding, "But it might also be a miracle from God that makes this happen."